Item: after punching someone in the head, allows you to listen to the last thought they had before you did it. Unfortunately unless they didn’t see you coming it’s usually “what the hell is that Player Character doing with that banana”
Encounter: the King of Unwashed Cloaks
Item: 6 packets of instant gorilla milk (strawberry flavor); add to a glass of water for a full meal.
Item: Ale of the Bishop’s Finger, brewed at a monastery with a real bishop’s finger in every batch–high-quality, flavorful, and rare, thanks to the fact that bishops only have so many fingers. The brewers and their bishops follow a lawful-neutral god fiercely opposed to mortals using magic, and for d4 hours per pint consumed, any magic user that attempts to cast a spell will instead uncontrollably urinate a pint of Holy Water. Additionally, for every hundred bottles, one of them will contain the bishop’s finger; roll save against choking on it.
Encounter: Telesaurus, a theropod dinosaur whose belly contains a phone that allows the user to contact any phone in the world by dialing in the desired person’s name. The dinosaur is not at all hostile to people using the phone, but it does think it is hilarious to make people try to catch it, and is extremely fast and agile. (The obvious solution will not work, as the phone only works so long as the Telesaurus is alive.)
Item: pill that makes wool grow on people
Item: Trueform Pin, a badge that prevents the wearer from being Polymorphed.
Item: Wand of Slot F*ckery; wielder targets a magic user and upon a successful touch attack it replaces one of their prepared spells with one of the following:
- Conjure Vermin
- Grease
- Zone of Evasion (as Zone of Truth, but instead of being unable to lie, creatures are unable to answer questions or make direct statements)
- Splash
- Snilloc’s Snowball
- Detect Rhubarb
- Horizikaul’s Cough
- Bigby’s Indiscriminate Backhand (a large illusory hand appears and goes
upside the heads of every creature in a ten-foot radius of the caster)
The Wand’s target creature should roll a Perception check to see if they notice the change.
Encounter: the Skeezicks, a gaunt flightless Tengu with a love of rabbit meat and incredibly low Intelligence
Encounter: six powerful Celestials whose true forms would drive a mortal mad, so they intended to do that thing where they read your mind and alter their appearance to a form more comfortable to you, but due to psychic interference they accidentally based their conclusions on the BBC’s 2004 “Best British Sitcom” poll and now you’re confronted by the hovering white-eyed faces of the primary cast of “Only Fools & Horses”
Random Item Drop 