Item: KITCHEN GUN; while usable as a standard firearm, any item or creature shot thrice is also magically cleaned and spotless, aside from the three bullet holes. Probably some ooze monsters and undead this would be great against
Tag: tools and equipment

Item: Rando Men Counter, allowing you to keep track of randos that come in (innings), number of times you hit them (strikes), number of testicles harvested as trophies (balls), and number knocked out (outs)
Accidentally submitted to @randomencounters by @thewriterofawesomeness

Item: two plastic tubs filled with golden hammers

Item: USB-powered shovel

Item: hammer with sniper scope for precision strikes

Item: one of those gun that turn into wrench guns

Item: bard marionette; allows characters to use their dexterity scores to perform bardic spells at two levels beneath their own.

Item: steel spork (pack of 4), allowing the party to eat hearty stews and potato salad without negotiating all those complex Dexterity checks normally required

Item: carrot-sharpener, allows you to easily hone carrots, parsnips, and so on down to a point that can be used for stabbing damage.

Item: Spoon Homunculus that only allows itself to be filled with “good things”. If a character attempts to use it to eat anything unsavory or poisoned, the Spoon will do its best to wriggle free and empty itself.