Spell: Phone Gas, allowing the caster to send the spell Poison Spray through phone lines, cellular signal, wifi, &c. If the other person doesn’t pick up, it can be left as a voicemail and the poison gas will appear when the message is played.
Item: Plastic Machine Gun of Poker Summoning; does not fire any ammunition, but instead calls forth an Ethereal Poker to jab the target repeatedly. (It might just be a wand stuck into a toy gun.)
Spell: new from the makers of Arcane Eye, it’s Arcane Nose: You create a magical nose within range that hovers in the air for the Duration. You mentally receive olfactory information from the nose, which can smell in every direction. As
an action, you can move the nose up to 30 feet in any direction. There
is no limit to how far away from you the nose can move, but it can’t
enter another plane of existence. A solid barrier blocks the nose’s Movement, but the nose can pass through an opening as small as 1 inch in diameter.
Item: Ring of Pee Pee Death; according to spells like Identify or similar magic-reading, it allows the wearer to cast a spell called “Pee Pee Death” at will. No one seems to have heard of the spell before, and as such are unsure exactly what it does, but I doubt you’re going to find anyone willing to be a test subject.
Spell: Kitty Vision: the target of the spell is cursed for d4 hours to see the world as pastel, rounded, and adorable, as if they are living in the world of Sanrio characters.
Spell: Liquid Arrow; casting this spell on any liquid or potion turns it into an arrow usable by any bow, delivering it and its effects (whether from splash or by drinking it) at a distance as the spell Acid Arrow. Have a sniper take out the guards with a Potion of Gaseous Form, disrupt a coronation by hitting the new ruler with Energy Soup, or give a Dragon a long-distance dose of Diet Cherry Dr Pepper for some reason, I don’t know. More ideas:
Random Item Drop 