what I could only fathom as a burger king poncho, for whatever reason
Item: Poncho of the Burger King; when draped over an item and left for ten minutes, the item will be flame-broiled to perfection. Great for turning highly processed frozen beef patties into pretty good burgers; can also be used to start fires.
Item: Robe of Monster’s Energy; during conflict, the wearer can swap speed ratings with their opponent. If the opponent dies or combat ends, the stats are returned to normal.
Item: Coat of Arms; while not all the arms are able to perfectly act as real ones, the wearer does receive Improved Feint on any hand actions since enemies can’t tell which ones are the real ones, as well as a devastating Dope Smack Tornado attack
Item: Blazer of Scintillating Glyphs, as Robe of Scintillating Colors but instead of simple patterns of hues, it projects arcane runes that cause affected creatures to be Paralyzed instead of Stunned.
Requires Attunement; This robe has 3 Charges, and it regains 1d3 expended Charges
daily at dawn. While you wear it, you can use an action and expend 1
charge to cause the garment to display a shifting pattern of dazzling
hues until the end of your next turn. During this time, the robe sheds
bright light in a 30-foot radius and dim light for an additional 30
feet. Creatures that can see you have disadvantage on Attack
rolls against you. In addition, any creature in the bright light that
can see you when the robe’s power is activated must succeed on a DC 15 Wisdom saving throw or become Stunned until the effect ends.
Item: Wry-Visaged Pauldrons, magically animated faces attempt to distract your enemies by making rude faces. Generally more embarrassing than effective.
Item: Cloak of the Fly: grants Flight and Wall-Walking, but if the character is around any decaying material or dookie, roll a Will Save 2d6 against trying to eat it.
Random Item Drop 