Encounter: He Who Had To Do It To Em; has the ability to hide in images. Respects only wielders of the sigil known as Llos-Dah-Tchëp’g, here depicted on a decorative mug of Potion of Protection Against Doing It To Em:
Tag: memes
Item: a Conk Creat Babey; every four hours grants the Synesthete feat for d6 rounds to the nearest creature, no warning given
Item: Super Crown, transforms any creature or character into an athletic princess that can hover for some reason, as illustrated here by a young Myconid maiden.
(Source, as if you could be on Tumblr right now and not know.)
The resultant hybrid princess-creature also possesses a preternatural
charisma that seems to compel characters of artistic persuasions to
render commemorative portraits; roll Will save against the portraits
being of an overly salacious nature. If any adventuring parties out there happen to slap a Super Crown on, say, a Shrieker, Gelatinous Cube, Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing, or other dubious creature, and are able to obtain any of these portraits (the less-salacious ones), your humble blogomeister would be willing to display them for the edification and appreciation of the adventuring community at large.
Encounter: Lööp Mërchänte (submitted by @achybaton)
Item: Idol to Beet Poot, a powerful god of objects that are somehow ubiquitous despite the fact that nobody can remember where they originally came from. Upon a successful supplication, it grants you one of the following “boons” (roll d12):
- an ethereal familiar stuffed animal that it is not clear what animal it is supposed to be; the familiar smells of urine and causes all your enemies -3 on all Constitution-based checks
- the power to Baleful Polymorph enemies for 3d4 rounds into SilliScults
- every piece of clothing you own now smells like old cigarette smoke
- you become convinced that every item in your inventory is worth at least ten times its actual value
- the power to cause water damage to wooden and paper objects
- check your maximum vs current encumbrance. Whatever encumbrance you currently have available is now filled with mismatched ceramic tiles, no style sufficient for an actual project
- everything in your inventory becomes lightly sticky with an unidentifiable substance
- the clothes you are currently wearing are permanently changed into a polyester suit, blandly tasteful, lightly stained, ill-fitting.
- the room you are currently in fills knee-deep with old faux-silver chafing dishes, ornamental cups, and servingware. If you are outside, it occurs in a forty-foot radius around the idol
- the ability to summon a fiery dancing hedge trimmer
- the ability to, with a wave of your hand, cause any ceramic object within your line of sight to become chipped and scratched
- a golf club
(No meaningful connection, I just feel like I should acknowledge the Deck of Many Things here)
Item: Bullet-Sucking Gun; to cure a bullet wound, fire this gun at it to remove the bullet.
Encounter: magical liopleurodon stranded on land for its crimes in the sea. It knows how to get anywhere from anywhere and in exchange for exotic meats will grant directions. Unicorn kidneys used to be a favorite, but that got a little old.
Encounter: Rat Snitch Brian the Good Time Ruiner
Item: “Deal With It” Sunglasses; +10 on Diplomacy checks. (source)
Item: Jobe of the Jizard (Jeans Robe of the Jeans Wizard). Grants telekinetic control over any object made of denim. If a creature
is wearing denim clothes, the Jizard controls the motions of any parts
covered by the garments; the affected creature may roll a 2d6 Grapple check to wrestle
free of their clothes.
To make a completely overpowered character, combine the Jobe of the Jizard with the Josmic Jube.
Random Item Drop 