Item: Fringed Leather Shorts of Balance; the wearer is immune to any alignment-based magic.
Tag: crotch slot
Item: booty shorts with two QR codes on the ass that lead to a PDF of the Communist Manifesto and a page where you can stream Scooby Doo
Item: shorts whose pockets only work if your personal gravity is the reverse of everything around you, which I’m pretty sure there’s some ridiculous wand or something out there that causes
Booty shorts that say goblin on the butt
+5 on seduction checks by Goblins
Admin note: please note that it took so long for this post to work through the queue that (A) most of you have already seen this and (B) you can buy them in real life from a couple places, like this one
Item: Pillow Bumpers; prevent force damage to the abdomen, crotch, and thighs
Item: Underclothes of the Hound, a variation of chastity belt containing a lesser version of the spell Mage’s Faithful Hound; if an enemy creature comes within five feet of the wearer’s crotch, the face growls, and if they make physical contact with the garment it delivers the Vicious Bite (+10 attack bonus, 2d6+3 points of piercing damage)
Item: MacGregor’s Fire-Retardant Shorts, -5 damage on Fire attacks.
Item: Emily’s Magical Bejeweled Codpiece
Random Item Drop 