Item: clearly-labeled can of tainted milk
Tag: bad items
Would you guys be surprised if i said there was a lot of competition to who could make the best cake that looks like jeans, with a special subset dedicated to making butts in jeans
whatever, they’re all made almost entirely out of fondant, and every time I’ve had fondant it was about as good as chewing denim, so might as well
Item: denim-flavored cake
Item: “Dungeons & Dragons” (2001) on VHS
Item: low-quality squirrel costume
The Uncomfortable’s line of unusable cutlery feels like spells in themselves. Problem with somebody eating your energy? Pair them up with something like this to render them toothless, unable to gather up their nourishment. Honestly pretty much everything from the Uncomfortable could work like this–chairs you can’t sit in, cups you can’t drink from, hats you can’t wear…
Item: uncomfortable cutlery
Item: can of Windows 95, causing characters that consume it to become sluggish, move awkwardly, occasionally spew gibberish, and if given a new piece of hardware (such as a weapon or tool), forget how to use others.
Item: white lighter; mysteriously causes 1d6 of psionic damage to bards if they keep it in their inventory or use it.
Item: glass clown decanter, drinking any liquid contained inside causes Hideous Laughter
Item: broken cow-lamp
Item: a couple of partially-eaten nickels
Random Item Drop 