Item: limbless and toothless clown whose torso is a old glass baby food jar of mercury; occasionally casts Hideous Laughter on the nearest creature without any warning or provocation
Tag: bad items
Item: Wallace’s Capsules; when placed into a glass of water, they will turn into Wallace–a great way to grow several of him in your home, on the road, at the beach–wherever good times are had
Items: Big Gulp of Aspartame Cola, MSG Burger and MSG Fish Filet (with, assumably, E. Coli-contaminated lettuce), supersized side order of Genetically Altered Spuds, pack of Wrigley’s Aspartame, bottle of Prozac, and a cup of delicious Fluoride Springs water.
Item: undershirt so encrusted in sweat and filth it stands up on its own
Item: Crass Soda, -3 Charisma
Item: shoe full of ramen, +3 Constitution for wacky chaotic-neutrals but first roll save against athlete’s mouth
Item: Breeches of Turn Signaling; when traveling, the wearer’s butt cheeks light up to indicate when they are changing direction.
Cufflinks depicting a strain of bubonic plague bacteria. They were fashioned sometime around 1900, and entered the collection of the Science Museum in London in the late 1980s.
‘Somewhere over the years, the objects’ backstory got lost in the shuffle. [The museum] isn’t sure who wore them, or whether they were a commission or part of a larger fad for accessories that celebrated microbes.” [x]
Item: Cufflinks of Plague; punching someone while wearing these, they must roll save against being infected with The Plague, which is fine if you and your party have some kind of protection against contagion, but otherwise not so great
Item: high-heel Timb (just one; the other one is owned by a fashionable lady-pirate for her good leg)
Item: Mayonnaisal Spray; roll save against choking or sneezing or whatever it is that would happen if you forcibly shot mayonnaise up your nose, I’m not even sure, why would you do that
Random Item Drop 