Encounter: hovering sapient talking gun that makes foul-mouthed smalltalk between battles and doesn’t appreciate being disrespected, thank you very much
i work at whole foods and im here to tell u that they do
Some lady the other day puts this on my conveyor belt
and im like ……………………………………..ma’am what is this
and she has the audacity to say “i don’t know”
Item: new veggies, still in beta. Come in threes; after consuming the first one, roll d8 (the other two will have the same effect)
purple turnip that bleeds when bitten, tastes like mango vinegar; for the next three hours, you get the feat Nimble Fingers
yellow striped parsnip that tastes like crunchberries; cures/prevents blindness and deafness for 24 hours
parsnip-like root vegetable with the texture of really stale frosting; completely flavorless and actually prevents you from tasting anything until your next long rest
lumpy tomato, gently throbbing, disturbingly savory; full of seeds that can be spit at enemies for 2 Force damage, somehow or other
looks like a badly wilted leek, tastes like Hawaiian punch that’s gone bad; turn invisible the next one round
jet-black melon-like rind that contains something like minty green mashed potatoes; regrow any missing teeth
flaming red, texture like flower-foam, tastes like Pepsi but moreso; for the next eight hours, your body odor acts as an attraction pheromone to Aberrations
spiky blue little pumpkin full of a liquid that tastes like miso soup full of Pop Rocks; lose your voice, and in its place you can only make banjo noises, permanent until cured by swallowing a draught of goblin mucus, the fresher the better
Encounter: DOLEMAN, a minor chaotic-good agricultural demigod who has adapted well to modern times; can grant any number of bananas he pleases, and in whatever manner he chooses.
Random Item Drop 