Item: a Schnack, a creature that likes to take up residence in the mouths of magical containers (Portable Holes, Bags Of Holding, &c.) and cannot be dislodged without magical means, filter-feeding off subtle magical emanations from the portals’ dimensional energies. In regions where they are common, a jobbing magic-user can make a decent living removing them out the locals’ Handy Haversacks.
Encounter: Floppy-Footed Chömpenmauser, a sort of simple practice monster for dark-lords-in-training to test out their monster-spawning pits. It simply walks forward attempting to bite anything in its path; if it reaches a wall, it turns around and walks back the way it came. Individually they pose little danger to even intermediate adventurers, but get enough of them together…
Like see this guy, Probopass? A cartoonified Easter Island head with a bushy mustache?
Yeah, those little shapes on either side of the main head come off and fly around; they are called Mini-Noses and the big head controls them via magnetism. And what do they do?
So you’re telling me this thing is a predator??? And then there’s the uneasy fact that in the Pokemon world there do not seem to be any non-Pokemon animals, which is weird because Pokemon all seem to be semi-sentient, able to think and communicate. What the hell is this thing eating??? How does it eat them??? Does it just stuff them up its mustache???
Encounter: a Probopass, a living stone statue with magnetic powers; it is not known if they were constructed or are some form of Earth Elemental. True Neutral and uninterested in most conflicts, it prefers to live a simple, solitary life in underground ruins, using its three drones to catch centipedes, cave crabs, eyeless pallid salamanders, and whatever other subterranean vermin it can get.
Item: Serious Bone-Suckin’ Sauce, specially formulated for thicker bones. I actually managed to find the jingle from some commercials that the minstrels used to sing between episodes of the sagas:
Troll sat alone on his seat of stone,
And munched and mumbled a bare old bone;
For many a year he had gnawed it near,
For meat was hard to come by.
Done by! Gum by!
In a cave in the hills he dwelt alone,
And meat was hard to come by.
Up came Tom with his big boots on.
Said he to Troll: “Pray, what is yon?
For it looks like the shin o’ my nuncle Tim,
As should be a-lyin’ in graveyard.
Caveyard! Paveyard!
This many a year has Tim been gone,
And I thought he were lyin’ in graveyard.”
“My lad,” said Troll, “this bone I stole.
But what be bones that lie in a hole?
Thy nuncle was dead as a lump o’ lead,
Afore I found his shinbone.
Tinbone! Thinbone!
He can spare a share for a poor old troll,
For he don’t need his shinbone.”
Item: collapsible rod that appears to be a +3 Quarterstaff but if you actually hit someone with it, it falls apart, since it’s a $12.99 bit of coiled metal marketed originally to stage magicians
Item: roll 2d8; once per day, by speaking the command word, the bowl fills with whatever food or drink is placed in the slot. The substance created is essentially the same as whatever its source is, although it does not retain any magical properties, making it easy to create non-magical decoys of magical foods.
“We’re here to spice up your life” they said in unison. Then they ruined my soup because robots don’t eat soup and are oblivious to the subtleties of good cooking. These spice-bots are from Grimspot at Etsy.
Item: spice-dispensing robots that just want to spice up everyone’s lives
Encounter: a Bortimus: body of a draught-horse or ox, powerful hearing, lousy depth perception, a small horn it can jab people with, and remarkably kissable lips. Can communicate with both people and beasts-of-burden, relaying messages between them, with an intelligence level partway between the two. They like to be helpful, but are uncomfortably affectionate with those they help.
Random Item Drop 