Encounter: the Queen of Put-Down, a teenage girl with the power when provoked to deplete a creature’s morale by one point per round.
Item: Mayonnaisal Spray; roll save against choking or sneezing or whatever it is that would happen if you forcibly shot mayonnaise up your nose, I’m not even sure, why would you do that
Encounter: Plogg, a human fighter in an unconvincing orc costume and rollerblades
Item: Blazer of Shellfish Summoning. Summoned creatures are yours to command, although they are limited to their standard skills, i.e. the blue crabs might irritate an enemy by pinching it but those scallops aren’t going to do you much good unless you need to filter some water or something, unless you just want to eat them.
Encounter: Skull-Eater, a small squirrel whose diet consists entirely of human(oid) skulls, using its large incisors to inflict a powerful bite that can reach through the chinks in armor. Although it has only one HP, its high evasion makes it hard to hit, its high Defense and Magic Defense
can reduce the damage of many weaker weapons and spells to 0, and its
attacks can easily kill a party member. When hit by magic, five copies
of it will appear.
Item: Blue Lozenge Ioun Stone, cures erectile dysfunction. If you experience a Seduction Buff lasting more than 2d4 hours, consult a physician.
Encounter: an Old Man of Coblenz (source), a completely normal human (retired thief) that when a young adventurer had a novice wizard cast Longstrider on him, but the spell went wrong. His legs are each 3m long, but since he has to move further with each stride it doesn’t actually make him walk any faster, plus his balance is atrocious and he has incredible trouble putting on his pants.
Items: Animate Objects of the dime-store miniatures Gygax used to create the original Rust Monster, Bulette, and Owlbear; all retain their original traits and actions, but with the size class Tiny and the related stats described in the spell. They do not obey the owner and act exactly as they would as if real.
Item: penal velocipede, secures the arms and hands while leaving the legs bare for knee-mocking
Encounter: Mr Drencher, the Hunger-Quencher; alcohol elemental that brings snacks to those in dire need, so long as they can stand his ha-ha-hilarious 1950s alcoholic comedian shtick
Random Item Drop 