Item: Pillow of Final Rest: if placed under a corpse’s head, that corpse cannot be resurrected. Pro tip: worried about necromancers stealing the pillow? don’t leave it up to chance–get you some Sovereign Glue or something.
Item: delicious mug of Texas Tea
Item: portal to the Elemental Plane of Ketchup
Item: Nissin™ Cup Noodle Ultima Sabre, a +3 hybrid sword/trident that is officially sponsored by the Nissin Corporation; if the wielder makes a statement endorsing or praising Nissin-brand cup noodles while making an attack, the weapon deals an extra d8 piercing damage.
This video is incredible please watch it I highly recommend it
Item: Screaming Vacuum Cleaner. You know how eldritch abominations always have names that can’t be pronounced with mortal tongues? This device lets you pronounce them correctly.
Item: the Merciless Pepper of Quetzalsacatenango, grown deep in the jungle primeval by the inmates of a Guatemalan insane asylum. Delivers 6 Fire damage to anything they touch, but if consumed (perhaps by someone under the influence of a Resistance To Fire spell or item) induces revelatory visions as the spell Divination.
Item: jeans-chaps, +d10 on Skill Check (Get Milk From The Store)
Item: spine two-string bull-fiddle; as the spell Charm Undead
Item: Potion of Internet Explorer; decelerates anything it touches, causes some objects to disappear and reappear randomly, and occasionally garbles messages
Item: Tube of Infinite Ice
(submitted by @cptwaddle)
Random Item Drop 