~ thedurvin ~ Leave a comment

Encounter: Mr. Measles, lawful evil plague-cleric somehow skilled enough to give inanimate objects the measles, although how exactly he intends for that to let him rule the world is unclear. Affected characters take d4 levels of Exhaustion and will spend the next 4d4 days itchy, Exhausted, and contagious unless affected by a Cure Disease spell or similar. Affected objects work poorly or slowly at the DM’s discretion, and can infect creatures but not other objects.

~ thedurvin ~ Leave a comment

Item: Charm of Table Command. To the casually observer it is simply a dollhouse table, perhaps not even a well-made one at that, but it grants creatures a powerful reality-bending power: whenever that creature is faced with a gameplay device that involves consulting a table of random results, that creature’s character can choose which item they want. The Charm possesses no special protective magic or properties and physically is nothing but a flimsy wooden table, and once it is broken it loses its magic permanently, so be careful with it.

~ thedurvin ~ Leave a comment

Item: Idol to Beet Poot, a powerful god of objects that are somehow ubiquitous despite the fact that nobody can remember where they originally came from. Upon a successful supplication, it grants you one of the following “boons” (roll d12):

  1. an ethereal familiar stuffed animal that it is not clear what animal it is supposed to be; the familiar smells of urine and causes all your enemies -3 on all Constitution-based checks
  2. the power to Baleful Polymorph enemies for 3d4 rounds into SilliScults
  3. every piece of clothing you own now smells like old cigarette smoke
  4. you become convinced that every item in your inventory is worth at least ten times its actual value
  5. the power to cause water damage to wooden and paper objects
  6. check your maximum vs current encumbrance. Whatever encumbrance you currently have available is now filled with mismatched ceramic tiles, no style sufficient for an actual project
  7. everything in your inventory becomes lightly sticky with an unidentifiable substance
  8. the clothes you are currently wearing are permanently changed into a polyester suit, blandly tasteful, lightly stained, ill-fitting.
  9. the room you are currently in fills knee-deep with old faux-silver chafing dishes, ornamental cups, and servingware. If you are outside, it occurs in a forty-foot radius around the idol
  10. the ability to summon a fiery dancing hedge trimmer
  11. the ability to, with a wave of your hand, cause any ceramic object within your line of sight to become chipped and scratched
  12. a golf club

(No meaningful connection, I just feel like I should acknowledge the Deck of Many Things here)