Homebrew loot, weapons, armor, and snacks for your tabletop gaming and DM/GM needs
Author: thedurvin
I mod this blog from my stronghold inside a giant geode amongst the secret undercrofts of the Mystical Metroplex; I was going to write on goblin-skin parchment but my quill ran out of ink, so if it seems like I don't know what I'm doing with these futuristic computation-devices, please have mercy.
If you’re wondering why I smell so good, it’s because I use Gmail soap.
Item: Gmail Soap; when rubbed on an enclosed message (or other books-and-media) before opening, removes lesser curses and tracers and alerts you to the presence of anything too powerful for it, allowing preventive measures to be taken. However, it also absorbs the contents of whatever it is used on and adds it to Google’s profile of the owner to improve their advertising experience and for no secret nefarious reasons obviously
Item: antique sword, probably cursed; fills rooms with a strange energy and causes holy symbols and idols to twitch peevishly.
…This is probably less impressive in realms where it’s not unusual to have swords that eat souls or burst with black fire or cut through dimensional barriers. Seems to have been cursed by a rather feckless demon, or maybe the Jerry Gergich of warlocks.
Item: it was supposed to be a magically-refilling cereal bowl and a pair of Goggles of See Invisibility, but the pages got stuck together at the magical item factory so instead you get the Goggles of Infinite Cheerios and Milk that refills whenever worn. Presumably there also exists a Bowl of See Invisibility that makes invisible things visible when placed into them.
Item: Adhesive Hands of theft; can be used to steal any sort of paper object undetected, by making a sleight of hand check, only succeeds on scores above 19, and on crit fail causes the user to be hit by the hand, branding them as theives to all who know of the hand’s properties.
Random Item Drop 